this is a question i stole from my message board, the DISboards:
Do you say "I love you" too much?
Hmmm. Actually, I'm one of those people who doesn't really. I met someone once who said "I love you" to everyone and about everything. It got weird, and even though it was cute and all, I wondered who and what she ACTUALLY loved. couldn't have been that much.
I also hear people toss around the use of the word love, especially when they're in relationships. that's great and all, I'm happy for you. But when you've been dating someone for less than like, a month, do you really love them? or are you just saying it because you think that would be the right thing to say at the time? I don't know. Personally, I'd want to wait to tell a guy I loved him until i really did love him. call me crazy, I dunno.
On another note, I'm writing a book. This has happened in the past...and hasn't worked out to well. I'd start writing about 10 or so chapters, then have "writer's block" and put it on hold for another 6 months. Then I'd look at it 6 months later, and write so many revisions that I started losing interest. so. that's hopefully not what I'm doing this time. I don't have a title yet, which i think is actually a good start, you know? but from what I have so far, it's about a girl, a high school senior, who seems to have a pretty good and normal life. she's dating a great guy, has a great best friend, and all that. her parents had a messy divorce, but that's the only flaw. so then a big celebrity (think a dude from gossip girl) that the girl idolizes gets sent to this girl's town for rehab. and it turns out he was a kid she absolutely hated at her old camp. anyway, after a series of events, she falls in love with him. i got her boyfriend out the picture by having him cheat on the girl with her best friend. okay, so as you can see, it's a very cliche teenage romance book. but i LOVE those. so why not write one? it's not like i'm going to write a book about stuff i DON'T like or anything. it actuallly gets pretty heavy. it's not exactly all fluff. i'd rate it like, a PG-15 or something. if that's even possible. i started to feel myself getting that "writer's block" again, so I skipped to writing a part in the book that I thought I could to a lot with, technique-wise. then I'll fill in the rest later.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
understanding people
sometimes i just can't understand people. it seems like it should be easy, after all we are all the same species and everything. but at times i feel so separated from my own species, that it doesn't even seem like we're alike in any matter.
it's the whole thing about personality and having like, a heart. not just heart, but having a heart. it sounds complicating...and it is. but in a way, it's not. people don't have to be mean. people don't have to make other people's lives miserable. Now, that's a bit of a stretch. Most people don't strive to make people's whole lives miserable. But even the people who do one mean thing a day. Like, calling another girl ugly when she's standing right there. I think if people just took a step back and realized that it's not that hard to just take a deep breath and not say anything mean for the whole day (i know, what a difficult task!), we would have such a better world. It's not just about wishing for world peace, and thinking when wars end the world is suddenly a much happier place. it's kind of like wishing you were thinner. you can wish and all...but you have to do something about it (i speak from the utmost experience). you can't just look into the future and say, this is what's going to happen when i'm thinner, this is what i'll look like, and all that. we can't just say, this is what the world is going to look like when world peace happens. i learned the hard way that life isn't just about saying "it's going to happen" without doing anything. i've been picturing myself thinner and happier than i am since i was about 12. i'd say to myself, this is what i'll look like, and this is what i'll wear. but yet, i would make excuses and stuff for not eating right and all that. i'll do it tomorrow, my head hurts today...and obviously i didn't do it "tomorrow". there was always a tomorrow. and now i say "was" and "did", because recently i had a slight revaltion. i've had my share of those, that usually didn't last too long. but this one...i think it might just work. i realized that in order to be happier and look better, i would have to, in a way, suck it up, deal with it, and just...do it. go for it. push past the excuses and stuff and just do it. it's hard...but i'm trying. i can't explain why, but i think it might work this time. it's going to be a LONG and rigorous process, but it's going to happen. and it's happening now.
but to get back to what i was saying, i think the world needs to follow through with that process. we can't make exuses, can't say, "i'll do it tomorrow". we have to just suck it up and deal with the change. yeah, it's going to be hard...but personally i think if we found some sort of plan to get everyone together (not like kumbaya or something stupid like that) and just be nicer as a nation and have an overall wellness, we can become stronger. it's not about having the most guns or the highest power to be a strong nation, IMO. i think it's about being unified...and just having a good heart. not like one person, but everyone. everyone should just...be nicer. it's that simple. don't make fun of someone because you think it will make you feel better, or even because you can't stand them. suck your nasty comment in, and deal with being a good person. its that simple. it's not like, try to be nice, or let's be nice...it's like, deal with it, suck it up, do it. be nice. you don't have to be frickin' mother teresa. a little kindness goes a long way. it's the cold, hard truth.
it's the whole thing about personality and having like, a heart. not just heart, but having a heart. it sounds complicating...and it is. but in a way, it's not. people don't have to be mean. people don't have to make other people's lives miserable. Now, that's a bit of a stretch. Most people don't strive to make people's whole lives miserable. But even the people who do one mean thing a day. Like, calling another girl ugly when she's standing right there. I think if people just took a step back and realized that it's not that hard to just take a deep breath and not say anything mean for the whole day (i know, what a difficult task!), we would have such a better world. It's not just about wishing for world peace, and thinking when wars end the world is suddenly a much happier place. it's kind of like wishing you were thinner. you can wish and all...but you have to do something about it (i speak from the utmost experience). you can't just look into the future and say, this is what's going to happen when i'm thinner, this is what i'll look like, and all that. we can't just say, this is what the world is going to look like when world peace happens. i learned the hard way that life isn't just about saying "it's going to happen" without doing anything. i've been picturing myself thinner and happier than i am since i was about 12. i'd say to myself, this is what i'll look like, and this is what i'll wear. but yet, i would make excuses and stuff for not eating right and all that. i'll do it tomorrow, my head hurts today...and obviously i didn't do it "tomorrow". there was always a tomorrow. and now i say "was" and "did", because recently i had a slight revaltion. i've had my share of those, that usually didn't last too long. but this one...i think it might just work. i realized that in order to be happier and look better, i would have to, in a way, suck it up, deal with it, and just...do it. go for it. push past the excuses and stuff and just do it. it's hard...but i'm trying. i can't explain why, but i think it might work this time. it's going to be a LONG and rigorous process, but it's going to happen. and it's happening now.
but to get back to what i was saying, i think the world needs to follow through with that process. we can't make exuses, can't say, "i'll do it tomorrow". we have to just suck it up and deal with the change. yeah, it's going to be hard...but personally i think if we found some sort of plan to get everyone together (not like kumbaya or something stupid like that) and just be nicer as a nation and have an overall wellness, we can become stronger. it's not about having the most guns or the highest power to be a strong nation, IMO. i think it's about being unified...and just having a good heart. not like one person, but everyone. everyone should just...be nicer. it's that simple. don't make fun of someone because you think it will make you feel better, or even because you can't stand them. suck your nasty comment in, and deal with being a good person. its that simple. it's not like, try to be nice, or let's be nice...it's like, deal with it, suck it up, do it. be nice. you don't have to be frickin' mother teresa. a little kindness goes a long way. it's the cold, hard truth.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
i felt like taking a survey...
i'm at school right now, and i deeply feel the passionate need to take a survey. seriously. so i thought, why not post my answers here? so i will:
If you could live in any other place, where & why?
~i would live in California. because it's honestly the perfect place for me at least...perfect people, weather, things to do...
What animal best represents you & why?
~i have no idea! i guess a penguin? because...they're like me?
If you could go back in time & live in any decade, which would it be & why?
~hmm...i guess the 90's again. everything seemed so carefree and normal. maybe that's because i was a little kid or something. idk.
Whos is your ultimate celebrity crush?
~Derek Jeter, hands down.
What color best represents you?
~i think purple represents me, even though my favorite color is pink.
If you could star in any t.v. show, which one would it be?
~i've always wanted to be on big brother, but that's a reality show. so if that doesn't count, then i guess law and order svu.
If you could bring back 1 famous person from the dead for a day, who & why?
~what's weird is that Caren Carpenter just popped into my head. maybe because she hoenstly has one of the most classic, beautiful voices i've ever heard. she could teach something to some of these pop singers who can be so annoying.
If you were on MTV's Made, what would you ask to be?
~i would ask for something ridiculous, like a lunch lady or a garbage person. talk about a great episode. i would watch it.
no, i'm totally just kidding. i'd probably want to be a dancer or an actress or something that everyone else does...
Who do you think is the hottest actor/actress?
~two words...taye. diggs.
What is your most missed memory of childhood?
~just being so carefree and innocent.
*Angela*
If you could live in any other place, where & why?
~i would live in California. because it's honestly the perfect place for me at least...perfect people, weather, things to do...
What animal best represents you & why?
~i have no idea! i guess a penguin? because...they're like me?
If you could go back in time & live in any decade, which would it be & why?
~hmm...i guess the 90's again. everything seemed so carefree and normal. maybe that's because i was a little kid or something. idk.
Whos is your ultimate celebrity crush?
~Derek Jeter, hands down.
What color best represents you?
~i think purple represents me, even though my favorite color is pink.
If you could star in any t.v. show, which one would it be?
~i've always wanted to be on big brother, but that's a reality show. so if that doesn't count, then i guess law and order svu.
If you could bring back 1 famous person from the dead for a day, who & why?
~what's weird is that Caren Carpenter just popped into my head. maybe because she hoenstly has one of the most classic, beautiful voices i've ever heard. she could teach something to some of these pop singers who can be so annoying.
If you were on MTV's Made, what would you ask to be?
~i would ask for something ridiculous, like a lunch lady or a garbage person. talk about a great episode. i would watch it.
no, i'm totally just kidding. i'd probably want to be a dancer or an actress or something that everyone else does...
Who do you think is the hottest actor/actress?
~two words...taye. diggs.
What is your most missed memory of childhood?
~just being so carefree and innocent.
*Angela*
Friday, February 13, 2009
me being bored at school...
hello. so i'm gonna make this quick (and probably confusing, because it's gonna be so short) because 6th period's over in like, 5 minutes. i'm at school, in case you didn't know. it's boring. and i hate feeling like i'm getting picked on, even though it really doesn't matter. i hate that when you're not friends with them or well...doing them, guys ignore you or treat you like crap. maybe it's just me, i dunno. i don't want certain stupid idiotic people to like me because they're not worth it. but it sucks being the wallflower. maybe it's cause i don't WANT to say anything. cause once again, it's not really worth it. but anyway. i hate that there's this girl who is a little chubby but not really, and the guys in one of my classes have to tear her apart and say nasty shit. i honestly have no idea why. but not all guys are like that...just a lot of them. it's awesome that not all guys are asses, but when you find one who isn't, it's like god or whoever is rubbing his hands together and saying, "i'm going to make this as tricky as possible for Angela! *cue evil laugh*"
on another note, i can't wait to go to college. or like, even if college didn't exist, and people were just done with high school and then they just moved on or whatevs, i still wouldn't care. i just want to leave my town. and the people who make up the majority of my town. if i was living alone here, or at least with my parents and my brother (and my grandma...she can come to my private "we're the only people in this town party" cause she's cool. oh, and my dog. cause she's just friggin' adorable) then i probs wouldn't be too bummed out. because honestly, i do get along pretty well with the fam. which leads me to the fact that i'll probably still be living at home my freshman year whle i'm at *crosses fingers* Purchase. but that's fine. as long as i'm not in high school. then i'll be happy as a clam...which doesn't make sense because do we know if clams actually get happy? ah well, whatever floats our boats.
i was watching Laguna Beach yesterday on my iPod. re-runs, obviously. it was season 1, so it wasn't completely established yet. but it was still pretty good. i was trying to imagine a laguna beach type show for my school and town. my god, that would be unbeliveably boring. you would think it wouldn't, because it seems that there's so much stupid stuff going on that resembles drama, just like the show. but maybe it could be a short on tv or something. because LB is 30 minutes long. and each season lasted like, 6 weeks. i think we could so a little 5 minute slot between shows on MTV. fyi, i'm totally kidding. it's not like i'm gonna go pitch this to anyone anytime soon.
so now i'm bored, that's why i'm basically writing crap. i have *checks invisble watch, and realizes that i have a freckle on my wrist, which could make for several conversation starters about it being 'half past freckle' but i also realize that would probably make people think i was screwed up...so anyway* 5 minutes left, and i still have to go talk to a teacher about something. so i have to scadaddle. but i will pick up where i left off for my next post, because i still have a lot of more interesting things to talk about. i think when i'm in school my mind turns to mush, that's why this post is so boring. isn't that the opposite of what's supposed to happen?
*daisiebelle*
on another note, i can't wait to go to college. or like, even if college didn't exist, and people were just done with high school and then they just moved on or whatevs, i still wouldn't care. i just want to leave my town. and the people who make up the majority of my town. if i was living alone here, or at least with my parents and my brother (and my grandma...she can come to my private "we're the only people in this town party" cause she's cool. oh, and my dog. cause she's just friggin' adorable) then i probs wouldn't be too bummed out. because honestly, i do get along pretty well with the fam. which leads me to the fact that i'll probably still be living at home my freshman year whle i'm at *crosses fingers* Purchase. but that's fine. as long as i'm not in high school. then i'll be happy as a clam...which doesn't make sense because do we know if clams actually get happy? ah well, whatever floats our boats.
i was watching Laguna Beach yesterday on my iPod. re-runs, obviously. it was season 1, so it wasn't completely established yet. but it was still pretty good. i was trying to imagine a laguna beach type show for my school and town. my god, that would be unbeliveably boring. you would think it wouldn't, because it seems that there's so much stupid stuff going on that resembles drama, just like the show. but maybe it could be a short on tv or something. because LB is 30 minutes long. and each season lasted like, 6 weeks. i think we could so a little 5 minute slot between shows on MTV. fyi, i'm totally kidding. it's not like i'm gonna go pitch this to anyone anytime soon.
so now i'm bored, that's why i'm basically writing crap. i have *checks invisble watch, and realizes that i have a freckle on my wrist, which could make for several conversation starters about it being 'half past freckle' but i also realize that would probably make people think i was screwed up...so anyway* 5 minutes left, and i still have to go talk to a teacher about something. so i have to scadaddle. but i will pick up where i left off for my next post, because i still have a lot of more interesting things to talk about. i think when i'm in school my mind turns to mush, that's why this post is so boring. isn't that the opposite of what's supposed to happen?
*daisiebelle*
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
hmmm.....
hi! um ok so this is my very first blog post!! i was told that i should get a blog by my loverly friend mary. and my friends brittany and marissa are on here too, so hey, that's cool too :)
this is only my first post so don't think this is how i always write. cause it's gonna be pretty sucky at first.
so i'm a loser who has good taste in music, tv shows, movies, all that pop culture fun stuff...but not books. ok, maybe to my 12 year old niece who as far as i know doesn't exist, because i love, love, love those dinky, corny teen romance novels. and at least 3 of the ones i've read involve some girl having a blog. and the most recent one was about a girl from england who had a blog. and it was really cool. sure most of it was about stupid, petty, teen drama (why would i need to read a book about something that i live with? i have no idea...) but what i eventually got from it was that in the girls' blog, she spilled her heart without going overboard or sounding too mushy. she gave up her secrets without them being the deep dark secrets. so that's kind of what i'm here to do.
i also go on major tangents. one second i'm talking about pizza, the next (no kidding, it happens that fast) i'm talking about taye diggs. don't get me wrong, i love both. so that's also what i'm here to do. go on tangents. it WILL happen. i promise *crosses heart*
so here are some quick facts you need to know about angela, because i might mention them quite a bit (that's my real name, it's not daisiebelle. i liked daisiebelle because i love daisies and i love tinkerbelle. not bells, just tinkerbelle) :
~i love Broadway and Disney. seriously, that's what i might name my kids. i'm totally kidding. it's not just Broadway, which is my love, it's theater. anything theater. right now i'm student director for my school's production of Hello Dolly, and i absolutely love it. and i would love being onstage too. it's my passion. i am one of the few that will admit i'm a better actor then i am a singer. i love to sing and i have a good singing voice, but acting is what i'm great at, and what i put my heart into. i love it. and it's annoying sometimes because being in a high school that's known for their musicals and all, actually being known for something other than your voice is hard. but i'm trying. as for Disney...my family goes every year. to either disneyland (california) or disney world (florida). the automatic response is always, "well then are you rich?" no i'm not. that's just what my family does. because sadly, even when i'm 85, a trip to the Bahamas is still not going to sound as good as a rousing trip on space mountain. and i also want to work with disney. but i'll probably get into detail with all that soon.
~my little brother is autistic. i'm only saying that because if i mention he's 11 years old and he has sesame street on in the background in the same paragraph, you might get confused. he's actually pretty high functioning, but he acts a few years younger, and can't carry on a "normal" conversation. either way, he's the coolest, sweetest kid in the world, and i love him to death.
~i'm not too happy with my appearance. at all. i am...curvaceous? or overweight (not REALLY, just kinda) as the blunt put it. but people who say they're curvaceous are usually ok with being that weight. i'm really not. i even hate to talk about it with my own friends. honestly, i can't say i've kept a conversation going that was about my weight for more than a minute. honestly, it sucks. but i really want to, and i'm trying REALLY HARD to drop the weight. soon. hopefully really soon. i always say my deadline is by junior day in may. i don't want to lose all of it by then, just a significant amount. and prom next june is my target for "all gone". i bet i could do that part sooner, but i just want to wear a pretty dress. that's all i care about. i'll take an ugly ass date, i just want to look pretty in my dress! i take that back actually, i want a cute date :)
i think that's it about things you need to know about me going into this. anything else? i don't think so. um...my parents are interracial. is that even important? well anyway, my mom's white, and my dad is puerto rican and cuban. he has dark skin though, so people think they're white and black, but it's a bit more technical than that. technical, wow. my parents are secretly computers. dell. i like dell better than apple.
oh, and the title of this blog, spill my heart over a page is from a 3 doors down song. to be honest, i only like two of 3 doors down's songs, and this isn't one of them. actually i don't even know if this is the song title or a lyric, but i found it on a google search...so no it's my blog title! but i will probably never end up being as deep and brooding as the title implies.
so thanks for reading or getting bored and reading only some of it. either way, i applaud you for trying. i swear this will get more interesting. but i'm exhausted after being at rehearsal for so long, so...bye!!!
this is only my first post so don't think this is how i always write. cause it's gonna be pretty sucky at first.
so i'm a loser who has good taste in music, tv shows, movies, all that pop culture fun stuff...but not books. ok, maybe to my 12 year old niece who as far as i know doesn't exist, because i love, love, love those dinky, corny teen romance novels. and at least 3 of the ones i've read involve some girl having a blog. and the most recent one was about a girl from england who had a blog. and it was really cool. sure most of it was about stupid, petty, teen drama (why would i need to read a book about something that i live with? i have no idea...) but what i eventually got from it was that in the girls' blog, she spilled her heart without going overboard or sounding too mushy. she gave up her secrets without them being the deep dark secrets. so that's kind of what i'm here to do.
i also go on major tangents. one second i'm talking about pizza, the next (no kidding, it happens that fast) i'm talking about taye diggs. don't get me wrong, i love both. so that's also what i'm here to do. go on tangents. it WILL happen. i promise *crosses heart*
so here are some quick facts you need to know about angela, because i might mention them quite a bit (that's my real name, it's not daisiebelle. i liked daisiebelle because i love daisies and i love tinkerbelle. not bells, just tinkerbelle) :
~i love Broadway and Disney. seriously, that's what i might name my kids. i'm totally kidding. it's not just Broadway, which is my love, it's theater. anything theater. right now i'm student director for my school's production of Hello Dolly, and i absolutely love it. and i would love being onstage too. it's my passion. i am one of the few that will admit i'm a better actor then i am a singer. i love to sing and i have a good singing voice, but acting is what i'm great at, and what i put my heart into. i love it. and it's annoying sometimes because being in a high school that's known for their musicals and all, actually being known for something other than your voice is hard. but i'm trying. as for Disney...my family goes every year. to either disneyland (california) or disney world (florida). the automatic response is always, "well then are you rich?" no i'm not. that's just what my family does. because sadly, even when i'm 85, a trip to the Bahamas is still not going to sound as good as a rousing trip on space mountain. and i also want to work with disney. but i'll probably get into detail with all that soon.
~my little brother is autistic. i'm only saying that because if i mention he's 11 years old and he has sesame street on in the background in the same paragraph, you might get confused. he's actually pretty high functioning, but he acts a few years younger, and can't carry on a "normal" conversation. either way, he's the coolest, sweetest kid in the world, and i love him to death.
~i'm not too happy with my appearance. at all. i am...curvaceous? or overweight (not REALLY, just kinda) as the blunt put it. but people who say they're curvaceous are usually ok with being that weight. i'm really not. i even hate to talk about it with my own friends. honestly, i can't say i've kept a conversation going that was about my weight for more than a minute. honestly, it sucks. but i really want to, and i'm trying REALLY HARD to drop the weight. soon. hopefully really soon. i always say my deadline is by junior day in may. i don't want to lose all of it by then, just a significant amount. and prom next june is my target for "all gone". i bet i could do that part sooner, but i just want to wear a pretty dress. that's all i care about. i'll take an ugly ass date, i just want to look pretty in my dress! i take that back actually, i want a cute date :)
i think that's it about things you need to know about me going into this. anything else? i don't think so. um...my parents are interracial. is that even important? well anyway, my mom's white, and my dad is puerto rican and cuban. he has dark skin though, so people think they're white and black, but it's a bit more technical than that. technical, wow. my parents are secretly computers. dell. i like dell better than apple.
oh, and the title of this blog, spill my heart over a page is from a 3 doors down song. to be honest, i only like two of 3 doors down's songs, and this isn't one of them. actually i don't even know if this is the song title or a lyric, but i found it on a google search...so no it's my blog title! but i will probably never end up being as deep and brooding as the title implies.
so thanks for reading or getting bored and reading only some of it. either way, i applaud you for trying. i swear this will get more interesting. but i'm exhausted after being at rehearsal for so long, so...bye!!!
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